The original founders of the group had been through a lot that made everyone a worse person (That, and everyone is literally 20 years older than we were in 2009, so there's that). Not an excuse by any means, but something that once you see and understand, changes you irreversibly and made a chunky part of the community jaded and disillusioned with A LOT of complicated events contributing to that attitude.
I'm not saying any of this to be disrespectful. I'm trying to cram 20 years of history, complete with it's own controversial events (I think there was even a hijack attempt at some point??? A lot of crazy shit happened over the years that to this day, I still can't believe actually happened)
You're not wrong in that the group (myself included) are... well... "jerks" to put it really politely, and pushing people away is a thing that happens very commonly. You are indeed, very correct in that.
HOWEVER, at the same time, you also haven't seen the absolutely insane shenanigans that alot of those people that have been blacklisted from the group have been up to, and the insane mental gymnastics (if not for the outright LYING and drama shitstorms they've started for the pettiest of reasons whatsoever) they've been willing to preform in the name of striking back for whatever reason. No matter, the result is usually the same: one side moves on with life, the other fosters a grudge.
This is not to dismiss your points or argue against you. There's just been so much shit that has happened since 2009 that would need to be unpacked to address your grievances, that I'd be here for an entire year, day & night, writing pages upon pages upon pages of crap, word salad, and walls of text to explain, but I've already put myself through that once, and I don't feel like doing that ever again.
tl;dr, life's a mess because assholes shit all over it to make it worse, which transforms people into dicks who have to fuck the assholes like they dropped the soap at a prison until they have no choice but to shit in a different neighborhood out of sheer primal fear (because that's the only way to get them to stop), and pussies get caught in the crossfire.
I apologize for my vulgarity, but Team America: World Police was the best that came to mind at the time.
Personally for me, I've already been through the clusterfuck that was the figurative hate-orgy and have no intention of reliving it.
You're absolutely free to crawl down the rabbit hole on your own if you want, because I already have and I can vouch that it was indeed, not fun.
Oh, and when I tried asking for information and screencaps from some of the "intolerant brats" you mentioned, I got everything from excuses, to doctored screencaps (which got disproven when I crossed-referenced them to other people who were part of the same events), to fucking death threats, to being blocked faster than I could process wtf happened, to discovering I was already blocked by the person I planned to interview for answers before I even knew said person even existed!
Yeah, 2014/15 was a """""fun""""" year for me!
Now if you excuse me, I'm not familiar with time zones, but it's midnight where I'm at, and I need some sleep, thank you for your time if nothing else.